First Rate Help Mate

Genesis 2:18 “The Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.” ESV

As a recently turned nineteen year old I said “Yes” to a proposal that my husband affectionately calls a ‘two-fer’, “Will you be my wife and come to Colombia to live in the jungle with me?”

That was the start of more than sixteen years of adventure, with a lifestyle that could have made a feature article in National Geographic, or the setting for a Survivor Game; it was Reality vs. the imagined Romantic Tarzan and Jane adventure I had in mind. Our lifestyle was rustic to say the least. We lived along a river in the jungle in bamboo houses with no electricity, no running water, cooking over wood fires, and washing clothes on a raft in the river. My children were birthed there, and I became not only Mom to them, but their teacher too. We lived in the middle of a sector that was surrounded by terrorists called ‘guerrillas’ rebelling against the government, and Mafia cartels who were supplying arms and funding for their activities through the drug trade. We saw white powder traded in the river store for fridges and boat motors and sewing machines. 

During those sixteen years I was known as Dalton’s wife, later as Jesse, Seth and Amy’s mom, but who was I? What was my identity? Did helping my husband fulfill his call minimize who I was or was supposed to be?
I left the States as a teen bride, and returned as Mother of a family with three children. Reintegrating to life in the United States was not that easy. Finding our place with no history as a couple or family meant we couldn’t even get our own electricity or telephone or buy a car without a co-signer. I felt my identity growing more obscure. I had made a commitment the day we married, but did that mean I would be erased as a person?

Fast forward to a recent adventure as empty nesters. This time, our new facet of ministry was the creation of a ministry to pastors, missionaries and Christian leaders called The Rekindling. One aspect of the ministry involved operating a retreat center, where I found myself in a definitely important role as the retreat hostess; cooking, washing, cleaning for our retreat guests and being the face of the ministry to the public. Not glamorous but important. Appreciated but not completely fulfilling.

Is this who I am, who I’m supposed to be? What about my dreams? What about my passions to teach and coach and write? My questions weren’t rooted in rebellion, but rather God stirring a hunger for the release of those talents while preparing me for the next adventure with Him.

Fast forward to today. The demands of operating a retreat center no longer consume our time and energy, and my husband and I are able to focus on what more completely fulfills our passion in ministry. I have found that God has given me dreams that support and help and complement what He wants my husband and I to do together, rather than competing to see who has the more valid ministry direction.

Through this process I’ve come to learn the value of what our friends Dawn and Dave Lind call, “being a “Team of Two” - two hearts, two dreams blended into one complementing each other, each bringing a vital part to its fulfillment”.

Learning that I’m part of a team with my husband helped me realize that what I do is important, integral, and part of the ministry, and doesn’t take away from who I am. I’ve developed into a multi-faceted person willing to do whatever God puts in my hand to do with the best of my ability, as unto the Lord.

Along the way I’ve found fulfillment and joy in knowing that I am an equal part of the team, not second-rate but first-rate. There is room for me to hear from God and contribute. I have value, I have a place - because God put us together not for one of us to disappear, or consume the other, He put us together to co-labor in the fulfilling of His dream for our lives.

Vicki Jantzen and her husband Dalton work as a “Team of Two” ministering to pastors, missionaries and Christian leaders. Her experience as a missionary and lay pastor’s wife gives her compassion for those they minister to in North and South America, and SE Asia through 30 60 100 Ministries, Inc.